Tag Archives: art

A journey to me. A journey to art

It has been a long time. A long time since I’ve been blogging. But also a long time to go on a little adventure, to discover art and inevitably myself as well.

To be honest, it wasn’t just a lack of time that stopped me from blogging. It was partially laziness and mostly me going on a journey that changed everything. After all, I am only 24. And although I experienced a lot I still progress. In the past month I discovered that when it comes to journeys; well they never stop really. A fairly obvious fact, you might think. But when you stuck in the countryside for seven months, looking for a job and literally doing nothing; than it is not that obvious. I almost forgot about my journey of the past two and a half years. The experience I made after moving to the UK, everything that happened before. I also forgot how I rediscovered art and performance. How theatre changed me so drastically.

But now I remember. I remember my past journeys and I know of my present and future ones. And in all of them art, theatre always played ins one way or another a significant role. I’ve been acting since I’m ten. First it was just normal classical amateur theatre. But for me it was a bit more. As a child that was awkward, not ready for society and bullied; simple amateur acting gave me confidence. I suddenly had a stage where I could share parts of myself through a persona that I created and people loved it. I think I subconsciously realised that art somehow would change my journey and help me some day.

The amateur group I belonged to, didn’t last long and for years creativity seemed to be non existent. I seemed to be non existent. Kind of stuck in my role as the outsider, the one that is bullied; sometimes for no reason and sometimes because I behaved terribly. I had a set mind on my career and my future. My journey was planned. Out of boredom I took to writing. And discovered that I was good at it. But I never shared my poems or short stories. And once I did, in Six Form; people thought me to be arrogant because I was writing poems all the time. For some reason they thought that I was doing it to show off. I never did and I don’t now.

The truth is: I was writing, I was acting as a release. It helped me to release all my troubles all the things I was dealing with. I was acting at that time, just not on stage. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. To be untouchable, to be superior. I needed to pretend. I didn’t think much of myself and was full of self loathing. The only place/ space I could accept myself, where I could be confident – yes almost arrogant- was when I was writing or acting.

It took me several years, a failed marriage, a conversion to Catholicism and some other events to change my journey to self destruction to a journey of healing and self- fulfilment. I still struggle, I still display a certain arrogance when I am not confident in myself. Most obstacles on my personal journey are made and placed by me. I still make bad decisions and mistakes. But I am still travelling, discovering, learning.

My adventure – and I can’t say it too often- was greatly changed through my Performing Arts College course. Discovering new forms of theatre and rediscovering my love for art and writing has broadened my horizon. The change will always be there, inside me. I know now that art will make me and help me on my way, no matter what. It offers everyone the opportunity to express themselves and to share tales and experience. And art can be everything. It’s not just music, painting, acting and so on. Cooking, building something, cleaning, administrative work can be art. Not in the common antic sense, but in your sense and terms. It is more than just a philosophical idea. Every journey, every life is a work of art in the end.

Recently the Response Time Project, I wrote about previously has helped me to manifest my believes about art and about journeys even more. It helped to to discover and experiment with art and performance. To try out thing I didn’t do before. To meet people that challenged my thoughts, my opinions. To witness other artists great work. The response Time Project has given everyone an open space. And in that open space all of us created an environment that enables every participant, every audience member to grow, to discover and learn.

Fittingly the last Response Time Project (this time participants could either perform pieces from previous Response Time Project, new versions of them. Or perform a new piece), called “Me/ Replay/ In a Gallery” dealt heavily with the topic of journeys. It was for some reason and underlying theme in many pieces in my opinion. And so was my major piece as well. Called “Essential Life” it was an abstract performance piece dealing with life and journeys.

I think especially the last Response Time helped me to realise about the journeys we all take. But also about my journey so far, the past the present and also the future. I already was discovering new aspects of my environment and myself and how I think differently about certain things now. But the last Response Time helped me to get the full picture and to look positively into the future. It showed me that my perils, my laughs and that art always had a reason. That this is all for something, for the journey.


A very late reflection


It’s been two months now since I participated at the Pilotlight project; my first non college related performance here in Wales. Since then I haven’t performed publicly. Not because I don’t want to, I just live in the middle of nowhere and have therefore a logistic problems when it comes to public performances. Nothing I can change in that department, I’m afraid.


Originally, it was my intention to post up a reflection right after my performance but ended up not doing so for several reasons. The now following analysis would probably look differently if I would have kept to my original plan. I can’t remember some details of the event any longer and also want to say something about my future in performance (and how the the Response Time project Pilotlight has influenced that).


As I said it before, it was absolutely fantastic to be a part of the Response Time project and to participate in its first ‘outlet’ performance Pilotlight. I would even go so far and say that it was an honour for me to be a part of the first ever version of this project ( a second performance within this project has since taken place). It isn’t easy to follow the rules of the Response Time project 9they hardly were any) and to create a performance in just 48 hours, no matter how long it is. But I still enjoyed and savoured every minute of it.


There was only one rule I had to follow (besides the 48 hour rule); that my work had to somehow relate to the gallery or artwork displayed in the gallery. Other than that I had complete freedom when it came to the response I created. Well of course I wasn’t allowed to destroy any of the artworks. Having absolute freedom in my creative process was the aspect that I most enjoyed and loved about the project. In college I only had a similar kind of freedom in one module but never as much as in this project. Some people can be stressed because of this huge amount of freedom. I think I wasn’t because of it. Because I was able to do what suited my strengths and still challenged me a bit. I never devised or developed a movement sequence before but always loved to dance in my free time. My kind of dance is best categorised as expressionist dance (Ausdruckstanz in German). It might have been the first time that I took my hobby onto a stage but still did something that I knew and was completely within my comfort zone.


The fact that I worked alone and not within a group was another aspect I loved. Don’t take me wrong, I love developing theatre within a group, but didn’t have an opportunity to develop performance work on my own for a long time now. This time I didn’t have to share my ideas or discuss them with someone beforehand to get approval on them. I alone could decide what I do and how I do it. What would go into my piece, how often I rehearse and use the time I had. Although I worked on my own I still was surrounded by a great group of fellow performers, who I could always ask for help or watch in fascination. So even though I created a solo piece, I wasn’t isolated.


There are only two little things that I have to criticise. I hope that everyone involved in the Response Time project can forgive me for mentioning it. I personally felt that the use of light, or how the performances were lid wasn’t optional. The first and the last run through of all performances were lid perfectly. But some solo pieces within the second run through weren’t lid in the best way. This includes my own piece, which I felt was too dark, since there were no lights used for the space it took place in. The lack of light within the second run through was a bit of a flaw in my personal opinion. Another such flaw was the way how we guided the audience from piece to piece. Instead of talking we had to guide them silently and could only use body gestures to show them how they should position themselves. I personally think that we could have chosen a more creative way to guide the audience, but again this is just my opinion and I might be a bit too critical here.


The participation; my involvement with the Response Time project helped me a great deal. Not only was it my first real professional experience here in Wales, but also a proof to me that I am capable to develop work on my own. My creativity was fuelled because of the project and new ideas were developed by me because of it. I now have a faint plan of how I want to create work in the future. I know now that I want to abolish the fourth wall between audience and actor completely, that I want to use unusual stages and that I want to experiment more. Last but not least do I want to challenge myself more with my next project and get out of my comfort zone.

My inspiration

Hi folks,

I know I promised a complete Blog, but sadly I cannot deliver today. My laptop broke down completely and I just managed to restore it its original state.

But I will give a little hint to my inspiration and my idea for the project I’m planning to do. I filmed  a river today that is near my house. If i get some descent Internet conncetion tomrrow I can and will upload the video to Youtube and share it on this blog. But I won’t promise that. My idea is it to create a movement sequence based on the movements of a river and based on the canvas series from  Sandra Masterson called “Three dancing Rivers”. Here is a photo of one of the canvases:

2013-09-20 17.05.57

I will post up as full blog about the devising process and other ideas I had, I promise.

My light is the Pilotlight

Today I’m going to blog about something different, I’m going to blog about art. Or to be precise my current involvement in a local arts project here in Wales.

As I mentioned in my introduction, I’m an artist or a performer to be precise. I hope that one day I will make acting or performing my profession and will be able to make a living out of the one thing I love to do and am more than passionate about. In the past two years I’ve been studying Performing Arts at my local college and will go to University next year. I needed to defer due to financial issues. And I really didn’t think I would get an opportunity that easily and that soon to do some performance work in this year.

But thankfully I thought wrong. I happened to follow the right people on Twitter and stumbled upon a tweet by James Baker who I met through my course. His tweet lead me to Sandra Bendelow and her account and I started to follow her. You see, Twitter has it’s merit and significance in our modern day society.

By following Sandra, who is a producer of Scriptography Productions, I did a smart thing. Because this company seeks to create opportunities for writers and/or performers who are interested in creating performance work, mainly written work made for performance. Check out their blog out to get more information and see what cool stuff they already did.

As luck had it, Scriptography Productions just had launched a new project and was looking for participants. This project will take place this weekend from the 20th until 22nd of September in the Gas Gallery in Aberystwyth, the next nearby town to where I live. Gas Gallery is a “new spot” in the art scene and community in this area. I always wanted to check this place out and now I had the perfect opportunity to do so. I checked out the project idea and its intend. I was captivated by the idea of creating a performance in just 48 hours and to perform it in a Gallery. To be frank, I always wanted to perform in a Gallery and now I had a chance to do so right in front of my face. I couldn’t resist and apply.

And thankfully my kind of application was accepted and now I will create a performance in response to the art that’s on exhibition. And I have to say I really love the paintings and installations that found their current place in Gas Gallery. The two artists( Sandra Masterson and Aislinn Knight) who exhibit their pieces in the space both incorporated the topic of nature and landscape, but both in their own way. Here are some photos of their work.


(Paintings by Aislinn Knight)


(Painting by Aislinn Knight)


(Painting by Sandra Masterson)


(Installation by Sandra Masterson)

I’m really excited and a bit nervous about my involvement in this project. It has been three months now since my last performance, but I think that this project is just the right start for me to not only get involved in the local art and performance community but to also find a space to develop my passion and my skills further.

I’ve been to the gallery today and felt very inspired by the space itself and by the work. Tomorrow I will blog about some of these inspirations and the process of developing my three favourite ideas and how I got them in the first place.

Helpful Links:

Gas Gallery homepage: http://www.celfceredigionart.org/exhibs.html

Project Outline: http://scriptographyproductions.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/gas-gallery-response-time/

Scriptography’s WordPress account: http://scriptographyproductions.wordpress.com/